The Big 4-Oh! is Finally Here!

And so the big day arrives...not with a bang, but with a whimper. I woke up at 4 a.m. feeling not fabulous as much as fatigued, flu-ish, and fatter.

Despite all my best efforts to see the fab side of forty, I have to admit the depression rolled in earlier this week, compounded by the fact that I haven't been able to breathe through my nose since Sunday and the post nasal drip is making me feel perpetually nauseous. On Tuesday, I made the depression worse when retail therapy backfired in the form of the dreaded dressing room three way mirror and the fact that in that entire giant department store, all I could walk away with was one dress that kind-of fit. And they don't do alterations.

But you know me, I believe that you are in charge of your own happiness, so let's look at the bright side -- all the really great things that have already happened for my 40th birthday (and it's only 5 a.m.!)

#1. My Boss and Co-Workers Threw a Surprise Party for Me Last Week. Last Wednesday, my boss asked me to have drinks with her and a rather important person. Imagine my surprise when we walked to the back of the lounge and 10 co-workers yelled...what else? "Surprise!" Not only were there drinks, a table was set for dinner, and there were fun T-shirts for everyone, riffing on this blog. (The rather important person, by the way, was not there.) The piece de resistance was THE JAR. A beautiful etched jar from Anthropologie was filled with envelopes in fall shades of burgundy, crimson, orange, silver, and gold. Inside each envelope was a memory of me shared by a colleague - a funny moment at a sales meeting, a serious one at a memorial service, dancing in the back of a conference trying to make the speaker laugh, an outrageous flight across country. They went around the table, reading each other's entries -- I couldn't have been more touched.

Then, after most of the group departed, a small late night crew remained and I drank ridiculous amounts of white wine, hiccupped my way home, and woke up the next morning feeling greatly appreciated yet physically ill.

#2. Bobbi Brown.
After the discouraging three-way mirror experience on Tuesday, I made my way back to the main floor and went directly to the Bobbi Brown counter and said to the woman there, "Would you please do my makeup and I promise I'll buy something?" So, she did a fantastic job, glamming me up and by the end, I felt better. In fact, I felt better than better, I felt pretty. And I bought $100 worth of makeup.

#3. Nice Drycleaner Lady.
I couldn't bring the "it kind-of fits" dress to the cleaners until last night (and of course, I want to wear it on Friday night), but the nice lady at the drycleaners, said "No problem. You're my longtime customer and I do it for you." She declared the dress elegant and said I looked pretty, which is very kind to say to someone with a runny nose.

#4. Afrin.
What would I do without it? It has propped me up all week, through work meetings, a benefit, Mom's Night Out, homework, school interviews, Curriculum Night, and it will get me through my 40th Birthday today.

#5. Flowers From My Godmother.
Last night, beautiful flowers arrived from Ilene, Pattie, and Dusty the dog. Besides my parents, and depending on the day, the kids, nobody loves me as much as my godmother...and she always lets me know.

#6. Facebook Message from 6th Grade Crush.
No kidding. The hottie of the 1981 Sixth Grade sent me a message on Facebook wishing me a Happy Birthday. And you want to know how much cooler I am now than I was then? I haven't even written him back yet.

So...that's where we are, and still the rest of the day ahead of me! Happy Fabulous 40th Birthday!

Back-to-Back 40ths Make Me Feel 80

We went to two 40th Birthday parties over the weekend and the cumulative effect of back-to-back celebrations left me feeling about 80.

Friday evening's soiree was the epitome of downtown cool, with about 30 people at Shorty's 32 in the heart of SoHo. The birthday girl, Stafford, looked fabulous in a black leather trimmed sheath and killer heels, and every single one of her girlfriends made 40 look fantastic. It was fun talking to friends of hers that I'd heard about for years, but never met.

After several terrific toasts at the end of the night, it was time for clubbing! Yes, me, clubbing. We all loaded into a waiting coach where we chatted and sipped plastic flutes of champagne until we arrived at the meatpacking district, where we descended into the dark, basement-level club en masse. I stumbled in - was it the high heels? the darkness? the Champagne? -- and took it all in. I can't say it was my scene, but the birthday girl was there to dance and dance she did!

We got home at 2 a.m.! I can't tell you the last time that happened. Needless to say, Saturday morning was not my finest hour, but after a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich and the kids wanting to know why I got to drink Coca Cola in the morning, I enjoyed the beautiful sunny day...and at 6 o'clock, we geared up for round 2.

Out we went to New Jersey, to the next birthday girl's (Suzanne's) bash. Aside from a girl with the same birthday (October 8), the other thing this party had in common with the one the night before was a doting husband who had attended to every detail. There was a DJ who had been carefully instructed to play all the birthday girl's favorite tunes, a bartender, a tent, terrific caterers with really tasty food, and TONS of friends and family.

Suzanne's kids were there for the beginning of the party, "We're only staying for a little while," her son told me. I also learned that his favorite movie is Alvin and the Chipmunks the Squeaquel, his favorite baseball team is the Yankees, and he told me the names of all of his best friends. I was so glad to see him. I also caught up with Suzanne's mom, who reminisced about dropping her daughter off at college and feeling that I was a nice girl to leave her with...I was sort of glowing in that until she added, "Can you believe that was 20 years ago?" Ugh. Way to rub it in, Mrs. D.

Suzanne - who always looks fabulous - didn't disappoint in a pretty dress with ruffled shoulders. She is one of my funniest friends and as usual, she had me in stitches. She was making fun of me (and my Boggle habit)at the time - all the better.

I was honored to be included in both celebrations. Honored, but EXHAUSTED. I capped off the weekend by hitting the hay at 8 p.m. and sleeping for 10 hours straight. By morning, I no longer looked 80, just a good almost-40.

Married for 1/4 of My Life

This month I celebrated my 10th Wedding Anniversary - which means I've been married for a quarter of my lifetime. I can't believe our wedding day - blessedly breezy and sunny after a near disastrous Nor'Easter threatened to wash out our outdoor reception - was ten years ago. And what has happened since we said our "I do's" at St. Mary's by the Sea?

- Two beautiful daughters
- Great careers
- A warm, happy home
- Countless fun times with family and friends

It's intriguing to think what the next ten years will bring - teenagers, travels, and surely trials and tribulations, but it is certainly an adventure I'm looking forward to!

Happy Tenth Anniversary, Brooke!

This Makes Me Feel Much Younger

Although...there are some days when I'm feeling pretty rickety.

40th Birthday at "The End"

Is your 40th Birthday the end? The beginning? Or maybe it's the end of the beginning and the beginning of the end? At any rate, it struck me as apropos that this weekend's 40th birthday bash was held at "The End" of Long Island: Montauk.

The party was in celebration of two friends turning 40 and with the small exception of a pre-party debate about what "casual summer cocktail attire" meant, it was a whole lot of fun. The guys could not have had a better night or a more spectacular spot. The weather was gorgeous -- blue skies giving way to a stripey sunset, a warm day turning into a cool, but not cold, night. And "The End" it was -- we were perched high above the ocean on a jagged cliff.

I need not have worried about the dress code - once we were there, it was all about connecting with old friends. Four bars were set up, the hors d'ouevres never stopped, and a fantastic Rolling Stones cover band played all night. With maybe 300 people in attendance, there were surprises around every corner - and a few people I saw from a distance and never had the chance to talk to.

We carpooled there with six other people; 20 people chartered a bus to drive them from their neighborhood; it was an adventure. The party was loaded with style - chandeliers twinkling from the trees, a roaring outdoor fireplace, but it also felt utterly casual and super-relaxed.

The party was a great reminder of beginnings that began a long time ago -- namely decades-long friendships -- but also of all the new beginnings -- kids, jobs, moves, friendships -- starting right now.

The End.

Little Things That Bug Me

After 40 years on the planet, I've come to realize what bugs me. And even more so, I've come to realize what bugs me consistently -- not the one-time annoyances, the full-fledged pet peeves. Here they are:

1. Words spelled wrong on purpose. This would include stores like "Kids Korner" or even better, "Kidz Korner." (I wrote this first, then took a stab in the dark that there might actually be an image for Kidz Korner and sure enough, this one is from www.kidzkorner.ca)

2. Phone numbers that include words in them. It may seem like an easy way to remember a phone number, but I recently found myself trying to dial 82-HORSE, and it wasn't easy. Worse still is when you're trying to call from a BlackBerry - it doesn't work that way. I've been stymied more than once when I'm prompted to "please enter the first three letters of the last name of the party you are calling." Hmmm...maybe there's potential for an app there.

3. Mommy. I don't want to be called Mommy by anyone other than my children, who are under 10, and even they rarely call me Mommy. Examples of this include, "Mommy & Me," "Mommy-time," "She's very happy doing the Mommy-thing."

4. Sales associates who stick to you like Glue. You are making me uncomfortable! I'm not going to steal anything and I'm far less likely to buy anything if you're on top of me. And I do not believe you when you say that the pants that are two sizes too tight look cute on me.

5. Cute. Not big on this word; must be used with great restraint.

6. Whining. But you all already know that. And for the record, this does not count as whining.

Re-Invention

It's about this time in life when some people's (I'm not naming any names) thoughts start drifting towards re-inventions, what-if's. "What if we left the city and moved to the country?" "What if I quit the law firm and became a teacher?" "How about if I go to cooking school and open a restaurant?"

We're fueled by success stories -- Ina Garten quitting her energy policy job at the White House to open a specialty food store in the Hamptons, followed by books and TV fame. Martha Stewart leaving a trading firm to become the goddess of domesticity. Even in the movie I went to see with the girls last night, Ramona & Beezus, when Mr. Quimby (John Corbett) loses his job, he realizes he'd sold his soul to his corporate job years ago, and jumps at the chance to reinvent himself as an elementary school art teacher.

And sometimes re-invention is about your body and soul. Changing the eating habits, getting off the couch and onto the treadmill, gaining control over a chaotic household, saying no to obligations that distract you from what matters, finding time for yourself by getting up earlier, changing your hairstyle, getting your teeth whitened, recovering the sofa, quitting the BlackBerry after-hours, repairing a relationship.

(That's what happened at the end of City Slickers, by the way -- Billy Crystal says he's not quitting his job, he's just going to do it better, he's going to do everything better.)


The idea of re-invention seems to be emerging as a new rite of passage -- it's not as drastic as a mid-life crisis, which could involve expensive convertibles and reckless behavior. Re-invention is the opposite -- seeing mid-life not as a crisis, but an opportunity.

From the Reinvention Institute to the More Reinvention Convention, an entire industry is forming around people's desire to live the second halves of their lives passionately, maybe even more passionately than ever before.

I'm all for Re-invention. What about you?



images from http://unemployedandfabulous.wordpress.com/2010/02/05/reinvent-yourself/